For teenagers, being online is often an important part of everyday life. Social media, messaging, gaming and online communities provide opportunities to socialise, explore interests and develop independence.
For teenagers living with a brain injury, cognitive difficulties or other complex neurodisabilities, these digital spaces can be particularly valuable. The internet can provide connection without some of the physical, social or sensory barriers a young person may experience elsewhere.
Online communication can also give some young people more time to process conversations and make it easier to find people with shared interests and experiences. NSPCC
However, digital spaces are not always designed with complex needs in mind. Some young people with special educational needs and disabilities (SEND) can experience additional barriers to recognising, understanding or reporting online risks. SWGfL
For parents and carers, the answer does not necessarily lie in taking technology away. Instead, it is about helping young people develop the skills and confidence they need to navigate the online world as safely and independently as possible.
Every young person is different, and having a neurodisability does not automatically mean that a teenager will struggle to stay safe online.
However, depending on their individual needs, difficulties with cognition, communication, social understanding, impulse control or interpreting other people’s intentions may affect how they respond to situations online.
This could include:
Taking things literally. Sarcasm, jokes and hidden intentions can already be difficult to interpret online because tone and body language are missing. Some young people may find it particularly difficult to recognise when somebody is lying, impersonating someone else or attempting to manipulate them.
Understanding boundaries. A teenager may understand that they should not tell a stranger their home address but not realise that sharing their school, live location, daily routine or photographs can reveal personal information indirectly.
Recognising unhealthy relationships. Someone met through a game or social media may feel like a genuine friend. This can make it difficult to recognise when attention has become controlling, inappropriate or exploitative. Responding to pressure. A young person who wants friendship, acceptance or greater independence may find it particularly difficult to say no when somebody asks them for personal information, money, photographs or something they are uncomfortable with.
Children and young people with SEND can be particularly vulnerable to online grooming, including where social and communication difficulties make risks harder to identify. However, these vulnerabilities should not be treated as reasons to exclude a young person from digital life. NSPCC Learning
Keeping a teenager safe online is not just about parental controls and restrictions.
Young people will eventually encounter situations where an adult is not immediately available to tell them what to do. Helping them understand why something might be unsafe gives them skills they can begin to apply independently.
For teenagers with cognitive or communication difficulties, online safety information may need to be taught differently.
Try breaking broad instructions such as “don’t talk to strangers online” into specific examples:
Visual prompts, social stories, screenshots, simple checklists and repeated conversations can all help make abstract online safety rules more concrete. SWGfL recommends adapting online safety education to a young person’s cognitive, social and emotional development rather than relying on a one-size-fits-all approach. SWGfL
Rather than telling a teenager that online friendships are not “real”, it can be more helpful to acknowledge that meaningful friendships can develop online while teaching them that knowing somebody online is different from knowing them offline.
Talk through scenarios together.
For example: someone they have been gaming with for several months asks which school they attend. What could they say? Someone claiming to be another teenager asks them to move from a public game chat to a private messaging app. What might they need to think about first? Internet Matters advises that young people with SEND can experience greater contact, content and conduct risks online, while emphasising that encountering a risk does not inevitably result in harm. Helping young people recognise warning signs is therefore an important part of preventing risky situations from escalating. Internet Matters
One of the most important things a parent or carer can establish is:
“If something goes wrong online, you can tell me.”
A teenager who believes admitting a mistake will automatically result in their phone, console or internet access being removed may be less willing to seek help.
Try to make the first response curiosity rather than anger.
Ask what happened, listen carefully and establish whether they are safe before deciding what needs to happen next.
This becomes particularly important with grooming because young people do not always recognise that they are being manipulated. They may believe the person genuinely understands or cares about them, or they may feel embarrassed, frightened or responsible for what has happened. NSPCC Learning
If a young person tells you something concerning, reassure them that telling you was the right thing to do and take what they are saying seriously.
“Don’t share personal information” can be too vague.
Instead, agree together what counts as private information. This might include their:
It can also be helpful to go through the privacy settings on the apps, games and platforms they actually use rather than discussing online safety only in general terms.
Regularly checking in about new apps and games can help parents understand how their teenager is spending time online without making every conversation feel like surveillance. The NSPCC similarly recommends regular conversations about the platforms children use and their experiences online. NSPCC
Rules can be easier to remember when they are attached to recognisable behaviours.
Encourage your teenager to pause and tell somebody they trust if an online contact:
Grooming can happen through social media, messaging apps, games and other online communities. People who groom children may pretend to be younger, use a young person’s interests to establish trust or gradually move conversations into more private spaces. NSPCC
Sometimes the first indication that something is wrong will not be a suspicious message that a parent happens to see.
Changes in behaviour can matter too.
A young person might suddenly become secretive about a particular device, appear distressed after receiving messages, spend significantly more or less time online, become withdrawn, or develop an intense new relationship that they are reluctant to discuss.
None of these automatically means that abuse or grooming is occurring, particularly during adolescence. However, unexplained changes can provide a reason to gently check in. NSPCC Learning
Parents of teenagers with complex needs often have an especially difficult balance to strike.
You may know that your teenager needs more support to recognise certain risks while also wanting them to experience the privacy, friendships and independence enjoyed by their peers.
There is no single level of supervision that will suit every teenager.
The aim should be to presume competence while providing the right scaffolding for the individual young person. For one teenager, that might mean occasional conversations about privacy. For another, it could involve visual reminders, agreed rules, parental controls or practising online scenarios together.
As their understanding develops, those supports can be reviewed and adapted.
Inclusion does not mean ignoring risk. Equally, safeguarding should not automatically mean removing opportunities for independence.
The goal is to help young people explore the digital world safely, confidently and on their own terms.
If you are concerned about your teenager’s online activity, stay calm and preserve any relevant messages or information where appropriate. Most platforms provide tools to block and report users.
Where there is concern about inappropriate sexual communication with a child or online grooming, this can be reported to CEOP, which is part of the National Crime Agency. The NSPCC also provides advice to parents and carers about online safety and reporting concerns. NSPCC
Useful resources for parents and carers include:
Supporting a teenager with a brain injury, neurological condition or complex needs often means navigating challenges that change as they grow.
At Big Stepping Stones, we support parents and carers with practical guidance, shared experience and signposting to services and organisations that can help. As young people move towards adulthood, we can also help families navigate changing needs around independence, education, employment, care and support.
Every young person deserves opportunities to connect, develop friendships and become more independent. With communication, appropriate safeguards and support tailored to their individual needs, parents can help teenagers build the skills they need to navigate both the online and offline world with greater confidence.
